Partly, I am blaming myself

A friend of mine offered me a puppy years ago, I said no then because of the kids at home.  It is not safe having puppy with lots of kiddos at home.  It best to be safe.  I told her to offer me again after three years.  I really wants to have a puppy just like hers.  I am glad that she offered me again four months ago.  I am so excited because the puppy is really cute.  My puppy is now four months old.  The kids loves to play with him.  I always remind the kids to not go near the puppy, do not play with him and not to bother the puppy when eating.

Even if I reminded the kids all the time, kids are kids.  They like to tease the puppy, make the puppy run after them and carry the puppy.  Just recently, my niece accidentally bite by the puppy.  I am so angry, worried and sad.  As much as I do not want to think negatively, I can’t help it.  I am thinking the worst thing.  I even think that if something bad happened to my niece, I am to blame.  The niece had vaccine shots already, but needs to more shots.  I hope after the three shots, the niece is safe.  Also, I am praying to God that the puppy is free from rabies.

How can I be so forgetful?

As much as I wanted to deny that I am getting old, I guess the signs are showing and reminded me that I am not getting any younger.  I do not hate the fact that I am getting old because we all grow old.  In fact I am so thankful to God that I reached this age and praying for more years to come.  My life has been colorful, so much fun, enjoyable, interesting and sometimes hurtful.  It was a wonderful journey I must say.  My experiences made me stronger and better person.  Though I have regrets sometimes.  But life must go on and continue the wonderful journey.

What I do not like is that I am so forgetful.  Yes, I easily forgets things and I hate it.  I misplaced things.  Maybe because my mind is so full.  I have lots of things in my mind that keeps me busy.  Just recently, I forgot to renew the necklace I pawn in the pawnshop.  I have thought of it two days before the due date, but on the renewal date I forgot and I remember after two days.  How is that?  Because of this, I have to pay double interest.  Arghs!  How can I be so forgetful?  Oh well sign of aging and I wish there is medicine for this.LOL

I will surely think about it

Last week at the wake of my late cousin while talking to the other cousins, they open up the topic about me and my other cousin misunderstanding.  It has been five years now since the misunderstanding incident occur.  We have not talked to each other since then.  I did not bother to settle the things between us because I think it is useless knowing the attitude of my cousin.  I decided to just ignore her every time we see each other on birthdays, fiestas, and other events.  It is not easy I must say because we used to be good friends before.  It is just a pity quarrel that turns out into a big issue.

Anyways, my other cousin suggested that I should make the first move instead so we can move on and we forgive and forget.  To be honest, I have thought about it many times already and even consulted my family.  But they said no to me.  The wounds in their hearts is not healed yet.  I guess it needs more time to heal and finally will forgive and forget.  Only God knows what is gonna happen in the near future.  I will surely think about doing the first move of coming to hear and patched things but first have to consider my family’s opinion because they were hurt too by her words.

May you rest in peace

My cousin is battling for lung cancer for years now.  It was in October 2012 when she was diagnosed of having stage four of lung cancer.  Her whole world collapses when the doctor told her that and the worse she was given six months to live.  Tears are overflowing and even asked God why.  He undergone chemotherapy and tired possible things that will cure  her but her cancer is very aggressive.  It spread on some parts of her body and organs.  She is in pain but not showing it to her family.  She always said she is fine even when we noticed that she isn’t.  She only prayed to God that she will be able to go back to her family before her time to leave comes.

Her prayers were answered because she arrived in the country two months ago from Japan with her daughter and sister.  Her condition is worsen.  She can stand up and can’t speak clearly.  She cries when in pain.  The six months reaches to 2 1/2 years.  She wants to fight but her body is so weak.  Her family talked to her, tell her to go and her daughter will be safe.  After hearing those words, she close her eyes.  It is very painful to see a family member leaving however, it is double the pain when you see her/him in pain every day.  She is now free from pain and will be in God’s place.  Rest in peace Manang Gloria.